Love Hard: You'll Never Regret It

Everybody has regrets, but it occurs to me that there are a few things for which I have never been sorry...for instance, I have

* Never been sorry for loving hard

* Never wished I had been less committed

* Never wished I'd thought smaller

* Never regretted supporting and protecting my family, in good times and in challenging times

* Never been sorry for laughing so often (though occasionally, it probably shouldn't have been so loud!  :)

* Never wished I'd held onto offenses

* Never regretted the good choices I've intentionally made even when they've come with some cost

* Never wished I'd prayed less or that my faith had been smaller

* Never regretted choosing Jesus

If Do-Overs were an option, I would have certainly chosen that from time to time over the past 40+ years. In fact, in some areas of our lives, God *always gives us a Do-Over till we get it right.   :)
You've probably experienced that...whether you realized it at the time or not...

 Mistakes have been made. Perfection has not been achieved. I'm still in process. My God is always at work in my life and can I just tell you??? I am so grateful. I am continually amazed at how gracious and merciful He is towards me. I am awash in a sea of His forgiveness and love; daily, I need it. I don't know if I've mentioned...

They're just kids...right?...

Some days, I wish that were true! Other days, I'm so glad it's not. Kids are important people -- sent by way of Heaven to inform, encourage and challenge us and our beliefs. I'm convinced of it. Even as they're growing (and who among us is not??), they are Spirit filled, God-created PEOPLE. Sometimes they're more "grown up" than lots of "grown ups" I know. Seriously.   :)

Today, I'm STUYDING 1 Peter 3. Because of my kids. Because they said things yesterday that reminded me, I don't know about everything just yet. I still need to grow. I still need to study. I still need to let Jesus be formed in *me.

Thanks guys. I love you so big!

Pondering...

This Easter season I'm pondering so much. Really everything about the way we live. In the past couple of months, we've experienced life-changing emotional trauma (that's the only way I know how to describe it) as my husband's mother passed away so suddenly and so dramatically. It kind of feels like I've had the air knocked out of me. Our lives will be different from this point on. The depth of these emotions have taken me by surprise. I always knew I loved her; that she was important to our family, but I did not know how her death would impact me personally. It has been and continues to be so odd that she is gone. Oh, I know I'll see her again one day in Heaven, but her absence from this earth is painful.

As I was reflecting on all that this morning in my quiet time, I found myself thinking about Jesus. About how He died...about the day He died... and about the 3 days that followed for those who loved Him and walked closely with Him. "Trauma" would have adequately described what they probably felt. And if I were a betting woman, I'd bet that His resurrection was even more life-changing for them! I'd bet until their dying day, they never got over those events. And that's what made think...we really don't get it. Because if we did? We'd live differently. Everything would be different. What He went through, for love of us...it was a big deal. He chose us, even though He knew what it would mean...I don't know if you hear me...I don't think we get it.

My husband used to preach that it might be not be possible for us to live sinless, but we can sin less. We can't reach every hurting heart, but we can reach some instead of looking away. Instead of being too busy and worrying about how it will inconvenience us if we get involved in somebody else's drama, we could stop and pray with them. We could care. We can't share the Good News of Jesus with every person in the world, but I *know we can share it more than we do. I know I can share it more often than I have.

Are we just going through the motions or are we living differently because of what He did? I'm having so many thoughts, so many ponderings about my life and the way I'm living it. Don't get me wrong. I don't imagine that I can ever truly repay Jesus for His sacrifice, for His love for me, but it was no light thing and I am more aware than ever of what my life in Christ has cost Heaven. God help me to live like I get it.

Keepin' It Real

If you've ever taught a room full of kids, you'll understand this...

Two weeks ago, I was teaching S.N.A.P! KIDS at my church on a Wednesday night. It was an especially noisy night. My kids were all hopped up on something -- probably just the high of time with Ms. Annette, right? (that was funny, people.)  But I digress. Add to that the fact that we are entirely out of space in our current facility, so right now we are meeting exactly next door to the room where our student ministry is throwin' down in worship. They love Jesus and they're being LOUD about it! (lemme hear a whoop!whoop!) At some point I said to them, "If you want to talk to me -- if you want to answer my questions -- raise your hand." Instantly 3 hands shot into the air, at which point I heard myself say, "Put your hands DOWN!"   :)

Just keepin' it real, my friends...

There's Gotta Be More

I remember the first time I heard that phrase, "There's gotta be more..." It came from the lips and from the heart of my husband and it echoed in me, though I certainly did not agree with him out loud.  It was too scary to think about. John was talking about knowing God. The conversation went something like this, "Annette, there has to be more than what we know! No, John. There is no more! There's church (read: 11am on Sunday mornings) and there's Sunday School and eating lunch with friends after and that's just about it. Would you please just stop looking for more?" But he never did. He was convinced that "more" was available to us. Even though he had no idea what "more" looked like, he felt a tugging of his heartstrings. I was sure at the time he was crazy; inside I hoped he was... Now I know it was Holy Spirit calling his name. Calling our names.

That conversation happened more than 20 yeas ago. As I share that part of our story today, I'm so grateful for the continuing work of Father God in my life; that one day at a time He sanctifies us when we let Him. In my ignorance and in my arrogance, I was totally convinced that I knew all there was to know about God and about His kingdom. I argued sincerely for that "knowledge"! And I was sincerely wrong.

Since that day, I have been the recipient of more grace than is even reasonable. The bounty of His mercy has saturated every part of my life. I wouldn't even know where to begin to list it all in this moment, but I will spend my life sharing what I've been given with anyone who wants to know, with anyone who has any shred of hope that there is more...one story at a time...

For the record, you were right, Honey. There is more. And even after all these years, we've only touched the edge of knowing Him. Here's to a lifetime of hearing Him together. John and me. Friends and family with us! Ready? Let's go.

Annette